We Matched on Tinder, So Text Me Maybe


I definitely think that relationships and interpersonal communications with young people in the dating world are changing for the worse, and there are a multiple factors that go into that. Priorities are changing from being family focused to being more focused on careers. In my opinion, young people right out of college are on average more concerned with getting a good job and making as much money as they can, as opposed to trying to start a family.

I think that’s why the “hookup” culture is so prevalent now. People still want to get physical with others, but they don’t want a relationship or to have any “strings attached.” That’s why technology based dating sites or apps are so popular. Young people want to hookup with other people, without putting in much work and without as much emotion as past generations would.

I think that another factor involved in the social media dating sites/apps is a change in gender roles in the United States. Back in the 1950’s women’s traditional role was to be a stay at home mother that  looks after the family, raises the kids, cooks the meals, and cleans the house. However, that is not the current gender norm. Now women are encouraged to pursue their own careers and aspire to be more than just a housewife. The increase of women in the workplace leads to means that their schedule is busy with work, so sites like Tinder come into play because women don’t have as much time to meet single guys out, because they have work.

In terms of the Japan video, I don’t think that the Japanese cuddling, host clubs, or fetish workers will catch on in the United States. Even though recent college graduates no longer really aspire for the classic white picket fence, but those images of the classic American family are still engraved enough in American minds, that it would make Americans shy away from the Japanese “dating” ways. Even though some Americans buy prostitutes and go to strip clubs, I think that the majority of Americans shy away from those sorts of activities, whereas in Japan it seemed like the majority of its citizens would be into those activities.

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11 thoughts on “We Matched on Tinder, So Text Me Maybe”

  1. I think the difference between the American love industry and the love industry of the Japanese is that many americans do not use the services in the same way as the Japanese, as a substitute for the original experience. It seems as though it is more of a recreational and less frequent indulgence rather than a regular trip to the cuddle cafe every afternoon. Yet, as both men and women brome more engulfed in their careers and have less time to interact with one another, I could see a complete substitution (much like what has happened in Japan) of the experience become more common.

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    1. Like Joe said, I think that American’s would find those experiences much more impersonal and therefore not want to partake in those types of activities very often. Tom, you mentioned that in America, the women don’t really have time for relationships because they are too focused on their careers, but it seemed to me like the Japanese women had much more things to be focused on too. So wouldn’t that mean that America is headed in that direction as well?

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      1. I tried making the point that women don’t have as much time for relationships as they used to, because they are now more career oriented than in the past. As I mentioned in your comment, you believe that Americans would find those Japanese experiences as more impersonal and not be into them, and I share that same opinion. That’s why I don’t think America is headed in the same direction as Japan

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    2. As someone who’s just turned 60 (yikes), I find it interesting how dating is pretty much always the same. Each generation has it’s own way to contact others, etc. but we’re all human. I like your site because it keeps me up on your generation’s trends (that morphed in so many ways from the preceding one(s), especially mine, the baby boom generation. I write about that in my memoir, Maybe Boomer, that looks at life by subject (universal human themes), in chapters with the titles such as “Girls” (love), “Art,” “Religion,” “Jobs,” “Competition,” “Education” etc. Check out more on the book at my website – mikeandberg.com – along with weekly blog posts. In the meantime, I look forward to being educated in what’s happening with younger generations and the universal trends occurring now. Your site will help keep me informed, no doubt, and I’ll start Following today

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  2. I doubt that you intended for it to come across this way, but the way I interpret the end of third paragraph is that you are implying that sites like Tinder are becoming more popular based solely on the number of working women…

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    1. You’re right Cate, I did not mean to make it sound like Tinder was becoming more popular because of more women in the workplace. I was trying to use gender role changes as another reason why it seems the majority of young people are more concerned with their careers, which helped pave the way for apps like Tinder.

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  3. It seems that being more impersonal and focusing more on career is a trait that marks our generation. However, do you believe that the U.S. is heading into the same direction as Japan? Or are there other cultural factors that would steers us into a different direction?

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  4. To address Vlad’s comment, I also don’t think that Americans’ are headed down this road. I also dont think that this video depicts an accurate set of ideals for all Japanese citizens. Sure, their underground sex industry may be more popular, but this is certainly not to say everyone is involved in it. Why is it more popular in Japan? Thomas, your comment on the ‘white picket fences’ fits perfectly here. Are families included in the American Dream?

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  5. Thomas, I think your opinion of “young people right out of college are on average more concerned with getting a good job and making as much money as they can, as opposed to trying to start a family.” is 100% true.

    But, you bring up the idea of social media dating sites/apps. Since these have been thriving in the past few years, do you think people truly want to date but just don’t have the time? The average just out of college “mailroom” job can clock up to 100 hours a week. Maybe there simply is no time for the traditional dating our society used to know.

    In a weird way, this reminds me of Juliet Schor, who came to Bucknell last spring to give a lecture how our society would be more sustainable if work time decreased as a whole. As a sociologist, maybe part of her argument should have been how our society needs to decrease work time to revive communication amongst young people too?

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  6. You dismiss that the Japanese trends won’t emerge here. I would like to know about rates of strip clubs, sex workers, online sex workers, and so on. Maybe it will “look different” for cultural reasons, but the overall idea of commoditizing love and sex will be similar?

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