Heavyweight Title Fight: Mike Daisey vs. Phil Knight


[It’s the year 2020 and Mike Daisey has retired from his career as a monologist, author, actor and raconteur. He has rededicated himself to spreading awareness about the poor overseas working conditions employed by many U.S. corporations after he was caught fabricating the facts of his monologue, The Agony & Ecstasy of Steve Jobs. Recently, he has been hunting down CEOs of corporations that mistreat their overseas workers and giving them a piece of his mind.] 

[Mike Daisey sits and waits in his car outside of the Tiger Woods Conference Center in Beaverton, OR. It is mid-afternoon on the day of Nike’s annual shareholder meeting and Phil Knight, the current chairman of Nike, is undoubtedly inside]

Nike_01
Photo from mfaia.com

[An hour or so later Phil Knight exits the building. Mike Daisey immediately exits his vehicle and begins to walk towards Phil Knight]

 

 

Mike: Hi Mr. Knight.

Phil: Uhh, hello. And who may you be?

Mike: My name’s Mike Daisey, I’m…

Phil: You’re Mike Daisey? In that case, I know who you are. What can I do for you?

Mike: Well I’ve become very concerned with some of the recent news of the mistreatment of overseas workers by various American corporations. I know Nike has dealt with these type of allegations in the past and I want to be sure that the proper changes have been put in place to ensure that these people are being treated properly.

Phil: If I remember correctly, you were the one who lied and made up all of the facts about Foxconn and the treatment of their workers weren’t you? Why should I trust you, let alone tell you anything?

Mike: Oh I see, we’re going to revert back to the old deny and push it aside method, are we?

Phil: Did you come all the way out to Beaverton to insult me? I can assure you that we’ve made the necessary changes to our overseas factories and treatment of workers since some of our wrongdoings in the late 1990s.

Mike: What specifically have you done? If I remember correctly, you were the one who claimed there was nothing wrong with 14 year olds working your factories and provided your workers with $2.46 per day in wages in a country in which $4 per day is the minimum wage. For having such a wonderful work environment here in Oregon, this sure does seem pretty cruel.

Phil: Well, for your information, we’ve risen the minimum working age to 16 in clothing factories and 18 at shoe factories. We’ve implemented the use of safer, non-toxic glue and have adopted stricter air quality standards. Additionally, independent third-party auditors are continually checking our factories.

Mike: So, if I went to you’re Indonesian factories, there are the types of things I would see? One of my good friends, Michael Moore, told me you’ve never stepped foot in one of your own Indonesian factories!

Phil: It was only a matter of time before you two became friends. Yes, these are the things you would see. Are they the things you would speak of in your journalistic works, who knows!!!!

Mike: Very funny. Nike’s done extremely well over the years and you’re one of the most wealth people in America. Would it kill you to move some of your production facilities to the U.S. You would be providing jobs to thousands of people and treating all of your stakeholders better.

Phil: Here we go with this again. This is something I said I would consider and have done just that. Mike, my goal is to make Nike into the most profitable company I can and thus, create the most value for my shareholders. All of stakeholders are important to me, but none as much as my shareholders. You’ve never been a CEO, nor will you ever be, so I don’t expect you to fully understand where I’m coming from anyway.

[Mike Daisey begins to snarl and “quickly” moves to tackle Phil Knight. Phil Knight swiftly moves out of the way of the first attack and is clearly still in shape from his track and field days at the University of Oregon. He falls victim to Daisey’s second assault, however, and is immediately pinned under Mike Daisey’s large body. Unable to move he takes a few punches to the face and ribcage. Other board members walk outside, see the fight ensuing and rush to break to up. Mike Daisey is sent on his way. As he approaches his car he pulls out a slip of paper and checks Phil Knight off his list. On to the next, he thinks to himself as he grins]

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6 thoughts on “Heavyweight Title Fight: Mike Daisey vs. Phil Knight”

  1. Very polarized dialogue! The intense conversation cleverly paired with thematic insults definitely helped portray the sentiments these two people would have had speaking with one another.

    Like

  2. Wow, Mike Daisey sure has lost his mind after his “The Agony and Ecstasy of Steve Jobs” monologue turned into his worst nightmare! I like the hint of comedy, but seriously, I think it would sure get the message across to have Mike “The HITMAN” Daisey in wrestling attire waiting at your door!

    Like

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